Border Crossings  have become legendary among the Ralliers – and this year is sure to be no different.

Many of you may have experienced them as simple, painless procedures, but trust me, they can be tedious, lengthy, painful, and costly!        (And it goes without saying, cameras are strictly VERBOTEN, so not much visual to share.)

My friend Tom Hase, has entertained me for years with his tales of border woes from his travels around the world.  For the longest time, I thought he may have been “elaborating” his stories for the sheer joy in the “telling” of a good story, or that, maybe, it was just Tom. and his luck (or lack thereof).  Apparently,  maybe he’s been right ALL along!

First up, Slovakia!  Our teammate, Dave, who also happens to be one of Britain’s finest,  got  pulled over moments after crossing the Slovakian border (having JUST taken over the driving reigns from Don)  – .  Whoo hoo – our first shakedown!  A 700 euro fine for failing to stop at the border and purchase the Solovakian vignette road card (retailing for a mere 10 euro).  DOH!  After some friendly banter (Hey, we’re all cops here…) we escape the fine,  provided we immediately return to the border, following behind them.   A quick purchase of the card, and some photos of them with the bus, had us on the road shortly thereafter.

After that, Don nominated Dave to handle ALL our border crossings with the same aplomb!

Saturday July, 20 – Romania/Moldova/Ukraine:
The Romanian Border Crossing is a piece of cake, and in 20 minutes we’re off to wait in a traffic jam on the bridge to the Moldovan border while the fire dep’t deal with a burnt out car!   After patiently waiting in line at the Moldovan border crossing, Dave and Don decide to try and “speed” things along! After a “bit” of a run around,  a suggestion is finally made by the customs official….”How about a little gift for customs?”  the $40 “request” became a $30 “donation” and the bus was on it’s way – less than a mile of driving in Moldova, we come to the Ukraninan Border Patrol.  2 more hours of Dave and Don working their mojo magic has us freed and on our way, but not before Dave is totally spent, and Will saying he’d SWORE he’d never come back to the Ukraine! Welcom Back Will Houtz!!  😉

We’re told if we take a left turn out of the border exit to go to Odessa, we will be on a road that will take us back through Moldova (and then back again into the Ukraine – wheee… MORE border crossings).  We turn right, to stay in the Ukraine, but the road forward has us thinking it was a choice of rotten apples, frankly.

All told, Romania to Ukraine – a roughly 3 km drive – 5 hours, and a $30 shakedown….what a way to spend the afternoon.

Of course we later realize maybe we’d gotten off easy on our Ukraine entry as reports from other teams filtered in.
One team had their car confiscated because they made the  mistake of putting transport  plates on their vehicle before leaving the UK – (as most of the rally cars are imported into Mongolia to be sold to raise money for charity – that mound of paperwork is supposed to take place at the MONGOLIAN border!!!)  Unless the team could pay the Ukrainian import tax – the full value of the car – up front, in cash,  – they are SOL.  He was told he’d (supposedly) get the $$  back at the exit border – but seriously, who carries around a few grand in cash? We never heard what happened.

We ran into another team (from Alaska) outside Kiev and they’d  received a 50 Euro fine, AND the driver had been relieved of his pocketknife  – just because!

Thursday July 25, we arrive at the Ukraine/Russian border at 9:30 am.
First up, buy the Russian Vehicle Insurance. Then on to exiting the Ukraine.  We were helped out by a friendly english speaking border control woman who was knowledgeable about the Rally and was intrigued about our bus.  She was instrumental in smoothing everything out for us.  (Clearly another angel sent our way).  Don then went through and explained all the tools and bus supplies with the border guard and we were on to the Russian entrance checkpoint (We immediately lose another hour  – due to the time change).  After filling out our entry/exit cards and going in for visa check and bag scan, we’re through the border by 12:35pm.  2 hours.  not bad.  This has been by far our easiest border crossing to date and we were quite impressed with the Russians.  They were thorough, but friendly, and straightforward.

Friday July 26 – Russia / Kazakhstan
Leaving Russia today was just about as easy and quick as our entry the other day,  (45 min). One of the Russian border control guys even signed the bus!

10 km further down the road, getting into kazakhstan was wholly another matter.  First,  we’re asked for a “souvenir” at the bridge which goes over a river into Kazakhstan.  Sarah ponied up a Dixie Chicken Coozie., and despite our enthusiastic description of it’s many fabulous features and uses, he does not seem too enthralled with his new “gift”, but lets us pass on to  border control.

As the driver, Don stayed with the bus for his & the bus’ clearance as the rest of us are ushered inside for our visa checks.
Don says he kept spotting the border control guy with his drug sniffing dog walking the perimeter of the bus.  Don made sure to stay in line of sight of this guy through most of his checkout because the guy was also carrying a bag of white powder, and it was quite clear to Don that the guy was trying to figure out a way to plant it on/in the bus while Don wasn’t watching and bust us / shake us down, but good.

In the end, we escaped with them having pilfered (confiscated) Sarita’s bottle of wine, her Jergermeister and 1 oversized bottle of beer .  This one could’ve turned really nasty really quickly if Don had not been watching this guy like a hawk.  Sarita says she was happy to take one for the team as it was totally worth the price to make it through the border unscathed.

Checkpoint Charlie:
Throughout Ukraine, Russia, & Kazakhstan are these roadside random police checks.  They can’t seem to help themselves when they see us coming so we’ve become frequent visitors to the curb..  We’ve discovered they are so curious about the bus, most of the time they just walk around the bus staring at it and the handprints.  Eventually, they come into the bus, look at the lot of us, shake their heads,  and wave us on.

The other day we were pulled over in the same spot Will & Tommy call smol’ienski were they were pulled over last year  –  Don says…”Hi – I’m Don McLester from Charleston SC ” in FULL Southern drawl.   cop says – “you really drove all the way from the UK?”  Don says “yep”    – Cop Says “ok – get on outta here” and walks away  laughing.

In Eastern Ukraine  we were pulled over for spilling diesel all over the road.  Turns out the lady who pumped our gas had forgotten to put the gas cap back on and close the door.  Fortunately we were only a few miles  down the road from the station, so Don does a quick u-turn to head back and get our cap.  WELL, that just won’t fly – the cop waves us right over again for now doing an illegal turn!  He kept yelling at us in Russian, but we certainly can’t understand him any better the 2nd time, so he finally lets us go.  When we had to drive by him again 15 minutes later we all just waved at him out the window.

In Kazakhstan, we’re been pulled over 3x before even getting to Atyrau.
We’ve resorted to just all cheering, and waving, and giving them our best American twang in our friendly and boisterous hellos!
They really do not know what to make of our group

Overall, we’ve been VERY lucky, but we’ve got a few more borders to go  – Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Russia, & of course the grand finale – Mongolia!  Although the bus is not being donated/imported, so we’re told we should have an “easy” time of it –

Keep your fingers crossed!